A Cullen epidemic!
by pinkcrayon1101
Summary: What happens when Bella gets the chicken pox? Bella hates staying in bed and gets rebellious, and what makes the Cullens so miserable? It will happen when they least expect it! BXE EXR EXC AXJ set before Breaking dawn, but post Eclipse! HAPPY READING! :D
1. Realization

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight (etc.) the characters, or the chicken pox ;)**

* * *

**Bella lives with the Cullens by the way:) But she's _not _a vampire :( Happy reading! :D:D**

* * *

BPOV

I woke up and felt an irritating itch on my face. Actually, my entire body was itchy.

"Morning love." Edward said as I rolled over to face him. "Mind telling me what you're doing exactly?"

"I don't know. My entire body is itchy." I stated as I continued to scratch.

"Hmm.. Let's go to Carlisle." He picked me up bridal style and we sped out our bedroom door. In seconds we were at the door to Carlisle's grand office. Edward knocked twice and we entered.

"Ah. Good morning Bella, Edward. What is wrong?" Carlisle asked, putting his thick book down on the mahogany desk.

"I think Bella is sick." Edward said, laying me on the couch.

"Hmm, Let me see." Carlisle stood from his desk and came over to me. he chuckled. "I believe Bella here has the chicken pox."

"The chicken pox? No! I can't have the chicken pox now! We have a huge final at school tomorrow! It counts for 50 percent of our grade!"

"I'm sorry Bella, but I'll call the school and tell them what has happened. But for now, go to bed and get some rest."

"Great! Now I have to miss the biggest test ever and I need to rest. Joy." I said as I flung my arms in the air. Carlisle and Edward chuckled quietly.

"It will be fine love." Edward promised as he brought me back to my bedroom.

"Why don't you just turn me into a vampire right now?" I questioned him, now that I was lying on the bed with him beside me.

"Haha. The fever must be making you confused." He bent down to kiss me and I crossed my arms.

"Would you like something? You still need to eat."

"Of course. Being _human _and all." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Be right back." He said as he whipped out the door. He returned five minutes later with a bowl of chicken noodle soup and a sad looking Esme behind him.

"Oh, Bella. Are you alright?" Esme asked me like the mother she was.

"Yes Esme. I'm fine. Just hungry, tired, and ...itchy." I said with a scowl as i continued to scratch myself.

"Now now Bella." Great. Now Carlisle had to come. Why not just have a party in my room and announce that I have chicken pox to the world? "You musn't scratch. no matter how itchy you are. If you do, it will just become worse, and you'll have to stay in bed even longer." I looked up and him and sighed. I looked down at my arm. It was soooo itchy! I just continued to glare at it, and then I broke down and scratched it.

"Ahhh." I smiled. But I looked up and saw three angry looking vampires above me.

"But it was _really _itchy!" I complained, whining. The three of them laughed, and Carlisle handed me two small items. I looked at them, discusted.

"You want me to wear these?" I asked in disbelief. Carlisle shook his head yes, and I sighed.


	2. Alice and the battle of the Soup

**DISCLAIMER: nope, I don't own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, or any of the related characters, plots, or settings. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer. :(**

* * *

**Hello. I got a few reviews last chapter, and that made me happy, so I decided to make another chapter! YAY! anyways, please read my other stories (if you have time!) hehee. OK, well, I hope you like it Next chapter should be up soon! I promise fast updates for _all _stories!**

* * *

"Yes Bella. If you want to get better, I suggest you wear them." He said as he handed me the oven mitts. They had blue and white stripes on them.

"Ugh. Do I _have _to?" I whined. It made me sound like a little kid. It made Carlisle chuckle.

"Yes Bella, I'm afraid so."

I slipped the stupid things on, and I tried to scratch the most irritating itch ever on my leg. I attempted three times to scratch it, but it wasn't working. Stupid oven mitts. I scowled at them. I started to take them off, when Edward was there pulling them back on.

"Bella, love, to get better, you need to keep these on." He smiled at me. "I'll call Alice and the duct tape." He and the other two behind him laughed. I didn't understand what was so funny. **(AN: and if _you _don't know, it's because you haven't read 'Christmas with the Cullens'!!) **

"Wait.. are you saying Alice would Ductape these to my hands?" My eyes widened in horror.

"Yes, If she had the chance, Alice loves Ductape." They all started chucking again, and I continued looking at them in horror.

"Don't worry Bella. We wont.. Unless it's desperately needed." Carlisle continued to smile. That helped me a little bit, but were oven mitts really necessary? I glared at my leg, which still needed to be scratched.

"Edward!! Make it stop!" I yelled at him. God, who knew the chicken pox were this bad?

He dashed out of the room, only to return a second later with a bottle of pink liquid.

"What is that?" I asked as I stared at the bottle.

"Calamine lotion. It will take the itch away." He said as he handed me the bottle.

"Ew, It smells _horrible_!" I said thrusting the bottle away from me.

"Com on Bella, Just put some on."

"Ugh, Fine." I said as I laid some of the fowl pink liquid into my hand. I put it on my leg. It actually did take the itch away!

"Thanks Edward! You're my night it shining amour!"

"No problem love." He replied, kissing me. Esme and Carlisle left, and then Edward did as well. I was all alone. I hated staying in this over sized bed, so I tip toed downstairs.

I got down about two steps when I heard a voice behind me. Well, actually, It was a gasp.

"Oh my gosh! Bella! Why the heck are you wearing _oven mitts_? Not to mention that they totally clash with your outfit!"

I turned around to face her. Another gasp escaped her lips, and I sighed.

"God Bella! You look horrible! What happened?" She said rushing me back to bed. Great. Back where I started.

"I umm... I have the chicken pox Alice." I said as she plopped me onto the bed.

"Oh no! Does Edward know?" hah. I wanted to laugh at her.

"Is there anything Edward _doesn't _know?" I asked her, rolling my eyes.

"Well, yes. He doesn't know how to accessorize properly. I mean really, he could have at least gotten you a nice pair of oven mitts!" I rolled my eyes at her again.

"Alice, my question was retorical. And another thing, I really don't care what they look like. I don't even want to wear the things!" I rolled onto my side so I was facing away from her.

"OK, well you stay in bed OK?" She was about to leave when she saw my untouched chicken noodle soup.

"Bella. Eat the soup." She said, handing me the bowl.

"No Alice. I'm not hungry."

"Eat it Bella!"

"NO!"

"EAT IT!" we were now shoving the bowl at one another. It's contents getting restless.

"NO ALICE!" I screamed at her, thrusting the bowl towards her.

"BELLA! GOSH DARN IT EAT THE STUPID SOUP!" She screamed back at me, but when she pushed the bowl at me, the soup splattered from the bowl, causing noodles, broth, and chicken to land all over me as well as the bed.

"GOOD JOB ALICE!" I screamed at her, banging my fists into the matress. Edward came rushing into the room.

"Oh my goodness what happened?" He looked at the scene before him. One angry female human, one angry female vampire, an empty bowl, and the contents formally occupying it, all over.

"I'm going to have a shower." I stormed out of the room, and downstairs to the bathroom. I could hear Edward yelling at Alice, and changing the sheets on my bed.

* * *

**OK, so I hope you like it. When my sister had the chicken pox, the whole soup thing happened...but I was Alice, and my mom was Edward XD **

**So, I hope that you liked it enough to respond It took a little while to write, because I also wrote a chapter to two other stories **

**PLEASE PLEASE review if you have time! I try to respond to every single one!! And they make me smile Anyways, thanks for reading!!**

**pinkcrayon1101**


	3. Oven Mitts and Kisses

__

**DISCLAIMER: I do not, nor will i ever, own the plots, settings, or characters from Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. **

* * *

**Hello! I hope you like this chapter. It's mostly fluff, but I reallllly like the ending. It makes me giggle. OK, thanks to everyone who responded. You guys never cease to amaze me!! thanks again!!**

**Oh and No, I dont have an obsession for ductape. Just a strong love for it **

* * *

__

"Oh my goodness what happened?" He looked at the scene before him. One angry female human, one angry female vampire, an empty bowl, and the contents formally occupying it, all over.

"I'm going to have a shower." I stormed out of the room, and downstairs to the bathroom. I could hear Edward yelling at Alice, and changing the sheets on my bed.

* * *

Ugh. Stupid Alice and her stupid persistence. I stood in the shower with the water close to boiling. It felt so good against my skin, and untied some of the knots in my back. After about 20 minutes, I stepped out of the shower and grabbed a pink, fluffy towel from the rack. Great. Alice must have bought us new towels. I changed into my pjamas again, and trudged back upstairs. I found Edward waiting, sitting on the couch in our room. Alice was pouting, sitting about 6 feet away from her brother.

"Hello Bella. How are you feeling?" Edward asked me as he tucked me into the bed.

"Well. I'm tired, itchy, mad, and thirsty." I said as my head hit the pillow.

"I can take care of that." He grinned as he ran off. About a minute later, he reappeared. He had a large glass of water in one hand, the calamine lotion tucked under his arm, and the oven mitts were in his other hand.

He handed me the glass of water, and I downed it all in one sip. Alice laughed when I spilt half of the glass down my front, and I just blushed.

"Put these on, and then we'll apply the lotion." He said, handing me the oven mitts. Alice stared in horror.

"You're actually going to make her wear _those_?" She asked Edward, shocked.

"Yes Alice. Do you have a problem with that?" He glared at her, as if daring her to continue.

"But they're _ugly_!" She whined at Edward, throwing her arms up in the air dramatically.

"I really dont care Alice." I sighed. They were just oven mitts and no one but my family was going to see me in them right?

Alice gasped.

I just groaned at her, and slipped the oven mitts on top of my pale hands. Then, Edward carefully applied the lotion on me. I sighed. It felt so good. Not the Edward touching me part, well, that felt good too, but the lotion took away the itch, and cooled down my skin.

"So. I've taken care of the itchy and thirsty part. Now I need to make you happy instead of mad, then you can rest. Hmm."

He looked up at me through his lashes and smiled his perfect crooked smile. Then he leaned forward and kissed me. It was a wonderful kiss. Well, every kiss with Edward was wonderful, so this one was _extraordinary_.

"Still mad?" He asked through his lashes again. I sighed and he chuckled.

"Ew, I really don't need to see this. Goodbye." Alice said as she darted from the room.

"Now my love, it is time for you to get some rest."

"No. I dont wanna sleep Edward." I yawned involuntarily.

"Hmm.. it seems otherwise. How about you just close your eyes, and I'll hum your lullaby?"

I nodded my head against his rock hard chest, and he began humming my lullaby.

The song was still in it's beginning notes when I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up the next day, even more parched then I'd been yesterday. I rolled over to my left, and saw Edward's face inches away from mine.

"Morning love." He said with a smile, issuing his usual morning greeting.

"Morning." I replied yawning. "Where is Alice?" I looked around for the evil pixie-like vampire, but she was no where to be seen.

"She went to the mall." He said rolling his eyes. "She wanted to take you, but I told her that chicken pox were contagious."

I rolled my eyes. Alice was so strange sometimes. why on earth did she think Edward would let me go shopping if I'm not even allowed _downstairs_?

"I'mmm Baaaacccccckkkk!" Alice sang from the front hallway. I could hear the click clack sound of her heels on the hardwood floor. She flew upstairs and into the room.

"Good morning Bella. Now, since I can't have my future sister in law wearing _those_," she shuttered. "I bought you new oven mitts!" she ripped open a bag that read _The Gourmet Chef_ on it in fancy letters.

"Alice!" I moaned. "I like these oven mitts."

"But I got you ones that you'll like even better." she smiled as she handed me the new oven mitts. They were brown with blue writing on them, and blue stripes. The writing read: _"Edward's girl." _on them. I giggled. They also had a bright pink kiss on them, and a small white heart.

"We all have matching ones!" Alice giggled. "Well, except for the face that mine say _"Jasper's Girl" _and Rose's say _"Emmett's Girl" _and they're completly diffrent colours, they're exactly the same! Oh, and I bought you the matching apron." She said holding it up for me to see. I coughed.

"You OK love?"

"Yeah. Just a little thirsty."

He handed me a glass that was already on one of the night tables.

"Wow. Someone's prepared." I giggled at him, and then took a sip of water.

Alice forced me to take off the old oven mitts and put my new ones on.

"Bella, if you take these off, I _will _go and get my extra strength ductape." She said with an evil smile. "I have seven colours." She said as she skipped away to her own room.

"Would she really do that to me?" I asked Edward, horror and panic laced in my words.

"Knowing Alice, yes. But would I let her? No." He said as he leaned towards me to kiss me.

"I love you Edward." I sighed, hugging him

"I love you more than life it's self Bella." I looked into his eyes, and pondered his statement for a moment.

"Hey! But you're already dead!" I told him, poking him in the stomach.

* * *

**hehehe. Hope you all liked it. Wow, 3 chapters in 1 day! I'm pretty proud of myself. Big cyber hugs and cookies to all of the people that have reviewed. I promise I read every single one, and I reply to as many as I can! So please if you have time, please please please respond!! Thanks!!**

**--pinkcrayon1101--DUCTAPE!**


	4. I don't want any DANG SOUP!

**DISCLAIMER: I do not (or will I ever) own the twilight series' characters, plots, settings (etc.) **

* * *

**Hello! I decided to update this story b/c I haven't written it in a while. Hope you like it Have fun reading!!**

* * *

I woke up and saw Edward's brilliant face.

"Morning love. I'll be going to the test today. I'm sorry you can't come love, I'll explain it all to Professor Duvall."

"Thanks Edward," I croaked. God, I hated being sick! "So, who is going to babysit me?" I said with a sigh.

"Emmett." he replied, smiling.

"Emmett? Great. Can't I have someone else? Alice?" I pleaded.

"Nope, Alice has a design class."

Oh yeah. I'd forgotten. We all go to Dartmouth, much to my displeasure, and all took different classes. Alice took 'Fashion and Design 101', Rose took 'Auto Mechanics 101', Jasper is taking some psychology class, I'm taking English lit, and Edward is in my English class, as well as a Medical class. Emmett hated school, but Esme bribed him into taking some course so he could become a high school gym teacher.

"Esme? Carlsile?" I was desprate. I did _not _want to lie in bed while Emmett was attempting to take care of me.

"Nope. Carlisle has a shift at the hospital, and Esme is going to a garden party. So, you're stuck with Emmett." He said with his dazzling smile.

"Fine. Whatever. Just go." I said as I flopped onto my other side, now facing away from him.

"Love, please don't act like this. I love you, and so does my entire family. Emmett will take good care of you."

I snorted. "Hah. Yeah right! I bet he can't even make chicken noodle soup."

"That's why I already made it. He doesn't even have to heat it up or anything. And I'll be back from school in four hours. Alice will be home before me though. She should be home at 2:00."

I glanced at the clock. Wow, it was already 11:30. I was sleeping for a while.

"Fine, just go. I'll be OK with Emmett." I said as I stayed on my side, refusing to look at him.

"You sure love?"

"Yes. Go."

"Love you." He said as he went out the door. I heard it close very quietly. I closed my eyes and settled in for a rest.

When I opened my eyes, the first thing I did was look at the clock. Shoot. It was only 12:00! I heard two quiet knocks on the door.

"Come in." I croaked. My throat was so sore and dry. Maybe I was loosing my voice too?

"Hello sleepy head!'" Emmett said as he barreled through the door and jumped onto the bed.

"Hi Emmett." I sighed, rolling my eyes.

"So what do you want to do? You hungry? Thirsty? Wanna play video games with me? Swim? What do you wanna do?"

"Sleep." I said, closing my eyes again. I hated him sometimes.

"Come on! You haven't eaten since yesterday. Edward will kill me if you don't eat!"

"No Emmett. I'm not hungry!" But it was useless. He'd already ran down to the kitchen, and came back seconds later with a tray holding a bowl of soup, three crackers, and a large glass of orange juice.

"Emmmmetttt! Noooooo!" I whined at him. He picked up the spoon and handed it to me. I wouldn't pick it up, so he grabbed it himself and put it infront of me.

"I'll spoon feed you." He threatened with an evil grin. My eyes widened in horror. I took the spoon from his large hand, and put it quickly into my mouth. As soon as the soup hit my toung, I spat it out.

"Ew Emmett! This soup is freezing cold!" I said, wiping my toung off with a napkin on the tray.

"Oh sorry. Want me to heat it up?"

"NO!" I said, jumping out of the bed. "I'll do it myself."

I made my way to the stairs holding the bowl. That was a mistake. I sneezed, and tripped on the first stair. Luckily, Emmett caught me, but let the bowl fly into the living room, landing on the crisp, white furniture.

"Great. Now I have to clean that up too." Emmett said dramatically.

"Sorry Emm-- Emm- Emm-- ACHOO!" I said, sneezing again. I fell, but we were already on the ground floor, so I fell onto the plush couch.

"Just stop sneezing OK?"

"Yeah, cuz i can control it." I said, rolling my eyes. I made my way to the kitchen. I went to get the soup out of the cupboard. I forgot that I still had the oven mitts on, and they just intenstified my klutziness. Great, now there was soup cans, and verious other things all over the floor. I took the mitts off, and started to clean up. I got the can opener out of one of the many doors, and put it to a new can of tomato soup. I was halfway done taking the lid off when Alice burst through the door. Had it been two hours already?

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN!" She said, running to my side. "What are you doing out of bed, and why don't you have the oven mitts on?" Alice screamed at me. Wow, she was livid.

"Umm.. Emmett was forcing me to eat, and then I came down here to get new soup, and the mitts were making me really un-coordinated, so I took them off while I was making soup."

I hadn't noticed, but I was scratching my arms as I explained.

"Bella, why are you scratching yourself?" Emmett asked. He hadn't heard Carlisle's explanation of Chicken Pox because he was...busy.

"It's chicken pox Emmett. It's a human desise that makes you itchy and gives you red spots." Alice explained before I could answer.

"Oh. Hahaha! Bella you look like a leopard!" Emmett said as he doubled over in laughter.

"Thanks Emmett." I grumbled.

"Bella! Stop scratching!" Alice grabbed my hand. I used my other hand. God I hated these things. They were soooo itchy!

"BELLA!" Alice yelled, releasing my hands for a milisecond. Then she came back with the oven mitts. She threw them on my hands. "You better keep these on and stop scratching! Or else."

I gulped. That caused Emmett to laugh, which made me laugh, and made Alice even more angry.

"S'ok Alice. I'm fine." I said as I subconsciously took off the mitts and started scratching my leg. This caused Emmett to laugh more. "I can't help it. It's so dang itchy!" I whined to Alice.

"Bella. You better put those mitts on!" She said flinging her arms in the air dramatically.

"NO!" I yelled running around the corner. I was suprised when I looked behind me and didn't see Alice. I sighed, but as soon as I turned back around, I saw my worst nightmare. Alice. With _ductape. _

"Alice, let's be rational here." I said, holding my arms up to her, like she was an unstable person holding a gun. "Put down the ductape, and we can work this out."

She growled and lunged at me. I hit the floor hard.

"Ow Alice! Is this really any way to treat a _human _who's _sick_?" I said. Then Emmett came into the room.

"Woah! It's like WWE in here! But with girls! And one's a vampire with... Oh no. RUN!" He yelled, running out of the room. Hmm. I wonder what Alice had done to them with ductape...

"Hah!" Alice said, triumphant. "Now you have to keep them on." She yelled, with a smirk on her tiny face.

I looked down at the oven mitts on my hand. They were taped to my hands at the base of the glove, on my forearm. The ductape was of course, neon pink.

"Alice!" I whined.

"No Bella. Now get in bed. I'll bring you some soup."

"No."

"Bella..." Alice warned.

"No!" I yelled, running away the opposite direction. She of course, caught me before I got two metersaway from her.

She made Emmett throw me over his shoulder. I was hitting his back with as much force as I could, but I doubted he could feel it. I kicked, screamed, and hit Emmett as hard as i possibly could while he made his way up the stairs. Seconds later, he plopped me onto the bed.

"Now Bella. I suggest you stay here. I have no problem ductaping to the bed." Alice explained, the evil grin on her face growing wider and wider.

"No thanks Alice. And you don't need to make me soup. I'm not hungry." I said, turning away from them.

"Too bad." I heard Emmett say. I also heard Alice slap him.

About ten minutes later, I saw that the clock read 3:00. That meant that Edward would be here in thirty minutes to save me from his insane siblings.

"Oh Bella!" Alice said in a sing song voice as she whisked into my room. She put a tray of soup in front of me.

"Alice. I. Dont. Want. Soup." I said with my arms crossed.

"I don't care. Eat it." She said, handing me a silver spoon.

"No."

"Bella, don't turn this into a huge deal like you did yesterday. Just eat the soup please. Edward told me to make you eat it."

I glared at the soup. I usually loved soup, I had no idea why I suddenly hated it.

"No."

"Okay." Alice said as she took the tiny spoon from my hand. In one quick movement, she gathered soup into the spoon, and stuck it in my mouth. I swallowed, and I hated to admit it, but it made my throat feel much better.

Edward came in and saw me with a spoon stuck into my mouth.

"Umm.. Alice, what is going on?" He asked as he dropped his jacket and ran to my side.

"Bella refused to eat her soup, so I made her." Alice said with a huge smile. "You're welcome." She said to me, putting the spoon into the bowl.

Edward took her spot on the bed.

"Hello love. Did you have a nice day?"

I laughed at him. Did it look like I'd had a good day?

"No, actually. First, Emmett made me eat discusting cold soup, and then I went downstairs to make my own, and Alice came home when I was making it, and then she and I wrestled because I wouldn't put on the oven mitts, and then she also made me eat soup. That's how my day went!" I rolled away from him.

"Sounds very... eventful." He said as he chuckled.

"I'm glad you find my displeasure so hilarious." I said, rolling my eyes.

"I don't love." He said, kissing me. I was so dazzled that I didn't even remember why I was mad at him.

"So how was the test?" I asked him, rolling back to face him.

"Quite easy actually. And you are taking your test next tuesday if you're feeling better."

"Great. A test. Thanks for the good news!" I said sarcastically. It was now his turn to roll his eyes.

"I love you Bella."

"I love you too Edward." I said leaning up to kiss him. But instead of his wonderful, cold lips, I got a spoon full of warm, tomato soup.

"EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN!" I yelled running downstairs. He was so going to pay.

* * *

**OK, hopefully you liked it! I think that this will be the only chapter out until at least tomorrow. The ductape still lives! MUHAHAHA. **

**I hope that you review (if you have time) and have a fun, safe summer!**

**thanks for reading!!**

**pinkcrayon1101**


	5. Alice's Threat

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything to do with Twilight except for a copy of the book purchased at Chapters cuz CANADIANS ROCK!**

* * *

**helllo. I hope you liked the last chapter I wanted to get this one out quickly because if I didn't, I was threatened with pointy objects and plastic bins... **

* * *

Last Time: _"I love you Bella."_

_"I love you too Edward." I said leaning up to kiss him. But instead of his wonderful, cold lips, I got a spoon full of warm, tomato soup._

_"EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN!" I yelled running downstairs. He was so going to pay._

* * *

"EDWARD CULLEN! GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!" I yelled, trying to rip off the oven mitts on my hands so I could form a good fist. Shoot, ductape is hard to get off. I gavve up on trying to get the mitts off and stormed into the kitchen. I saw a very worried and confused Esme.

"What's wrong dear?" She asked me, hugging me.

"I wanna kill EDWARD!" I screamed. With her sensitive ears, I was sure it hurt quite a bit. "Oh, sorry Esme"

"No trouble dear" She smiled back. "What exactly did Edward do?"

"He made me eat soup, well, he actually _tricked _me into eating soup."

Esme giggled. I shot her a death glare and she controlled herself.

"Is eating soup really that big of an issue Bella?" She asked me, still trapping me inside her hug.

"Yes, Lately that's what they've all been doing. It drives me insane! So I decided not to eat soup. And then I went to kiss Edward and--" I cut myself short. Did I really want to talk about this with my soon-to-be mother-in law?

"It's OK Bella. I know what you mean. Well, actually I don't, because I've never had the chicken pox... but I'm sure you and Edward will make up."

"Yeah. As soon as I kill him!" I yelled down the hall.

"Bella, I don't think that killing Edward will make you feel any better. Come to think of it, you shouldn't even be out of bed, let alone running after a vampire!" She said, leading me to the stairs.

"But Esme! I don't want to go to bed! I want to kill Edward!"

She giggled again. "How about I send him upstairs for you?"

"OK... I guess that could work."

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN!" Great. It was Alice. What in the world did she want? I had my oven mitts on, not that I could take them off.

"What Alice?" I sighed.

"What are you doing out of bed?!" She asked me, pointing upstairs.

"Killing Edward." I replied shrugging.

"Well you'd better get up to bed in five seconds or I'll ductape your wrists to the bed!" She yelled at me, still pointing upstairs. A ductape threat from Alice would scare anyone.

"OK, OK, I'm going!"

"Five" great. I was only on the first step, and I was sure to trip somewhere.

"Four." Shoot. Have to run faster.

"Three." NO! I was only halfway up the stairs.

"Two." I was two steps away from the top, and then I had to run to the end of the hall to Edward's room.

"One! If I can catch you before you're in the bed, I _swear _I'll ductape you to it!"

I wasn't going to make it. I was still a good five feet from the room, and then I had to hop in bed before Alice caught me. I felt a cold hand on my shoulder and screamed.

* * *

**Sorry for the cliff hanger... I was going to make this chapter really long, but I don't have time! Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it and please dont come after me with pointy objects or plastic bins... **

**pinkcrayon1101**


	6. Edward saves the Day!

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything to do with Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. I do enjoy reading them though... I LOVE ICECREAM!  
**

* * *

**Hello! Aren't you lucky? 2 chapters in _one day_? Wow, it's like, unheard of. Anyways, The reason for the quick update was that I got a lot of reviews, which made me happy (though lots of things make me happy... like ice-cream trucks!!) and I was threatened again, but this time with a bin _full of _pointy things. **

* * *

Last Time: _I wasn't going to make it. I was still a good five feet from the room, and then I had to hop in bed before Alice caught me. I felt a cold hand on my shoulder and screamed._

* * *

"Hello Bella." A velvet voice said from behind me. I screamed again.

"Calm down. I won't hurt you. Just do as I say."

OK, now I was officially freaked out. I screamed again, and whoever was behind me grabbed both of my wrists.

"Stop screaming." I stopped. I was afraid of what might happen if I didn't.

"Good. Now, please don't say or do anything." I nodded and my capturer led me towards my bedroom. I finally got a good look at their face.

"ALICE!" I screamed. "HOW COULD YOU HAVE FREAKED ME OUT LIKE THAT? I WAS SO SCARED!"

"That's what you get for not staying in bed. And becuase I caught you, I get to have a little bit of fun with ductape."

"Alice, what are you doing to Bella?" It was Edward.

"Ductaping her to the bed." Alice replied, grabbing a roll of pink ductape out of nowhere.

"Alice, no. I thought we agreed not to use ductape on Bella."

"NO! I gave her a chance, and she blew it. It's not my fault."

"Alice out please." Edward said, pointing to the door. Alice stormed out, and threw her ductape on the floor.

"Don't think that this changes anything." I said to Edward, facing away from him. "I'm still mad at you."

"I'm sorry love," He whispered into my ear. The smell of his breath was irresistable.

"EDWARD CULLEN!" I screamed at him, "STOP DAZZLING ME!"

he chuckled, and then apologized again. I plopped onto the bed, and Edward sat beside me.

"I love you."

"I love you too." I said as he leaned in to kiss me.

"What? Are you going to shove another spoon full of soup down my throat?" I yelled at him, jumping off of the bed.

"No love, I don't have any soup with me." He said with a crooked grin. I plopped back down onto the bed beside him.

"I never seem to get any rest while I'm sick do I?" I asked him, as I cuddled into his chest.

He chuckled. "Doesn't seem like it love. Maybe you should go to sleep." He said as he gently pushed me down so I was lying flat on the bed. He then took the covers and draped them over me.

"Night love."

"Night Edward. I still don't forgive you." I said with a smile. He chuckled.

"Then I guess it would be a bad time to tell you that Alice will be watching you _all day _tomorrow huh?" I tensed my entire body.

"Yeah Edward. Now was a very bad time. Where are you all going? Can't anyone else stay with me?"

"I'm afraid not Bella. We're all going hunting, and Alice went yesterday. Sorry, but I have to."

"S'ok. But I wouldn't be surprised if I'm a pink ductape mummy by the time you get home."

He laughed. "Goodnight my love. We're leaving tomorrow morning."

"Will you wake me up please?" I asked him yawning. **(AN: yawning is an awesome word... it may be the new DUCTAPE!)**

"Yes, but you need to get some sleep."

"OK, night Edward." I said, closing my eyes. The last thing I heard were the beginning notes of my lullaby.

"Morning," I heard a voice whisper into my ear.

"Good morning Edward. Have a good time hunting." I said as I reached up to kiss him.

But before I did, I heard laughing. I opened my eyes. My head was inches away from Emmett's face. I was about to kiss EMMETT?!

"EMMETT! WHERE IS EDWARD?"I yelled, pulling away from him.

"Right here love, what's the matt-- EMMETT! What did you do to Bella?" He asked, storming over to us from the hallway. I sat in bed with my arms crossed and glared at Emmett, and then at Jasper who was snickering in the corner.

"Goodbye love. We're going hunting now. Have fun with Alice, I took away all of the ductape I could find in the house."

"That won't stop her." I mumbled under my breath. This caused all three of the boys to laugh.

"Bye love." He said kissing me on my forehead and darting out of the room behind his brothers.

Great. An entire day with Alice all alone in the house. Well, it was sure to be interesting.

* * *

**Ohhh! did you like it? I hope so sorry about the random icecream thing up there... long story XD **

**anyways, hope you like it.. please review if you have time, and big thanks to everyone who has D **

**Have a safe and happy summer D D**

**pinkcrayon1101**

**P.S. do they have ice cream trucks in the US? I'm pretty sure they do, but just checkin. My friend and I are having a debate. D THANKS!**


	7. A day with Alice

**DISCLAIMER: If I owned Twilight, I woundn't be waiting anxiously for Breaking Dawn to come out! AHHH! 10 days (as of July 22)**

* * *

**Hello! I hope you like this next chapter. It's pretty short, so beware ;D**

* * *

I was awakened by Alice jumping on the bed.

"BEEEELLLLLLLLLAAAAA!" Alice called. I stuffed my head under my pillow. "Bella wake up!" She pleaded, doing a bum drop on the bed.

"Ugggghhhhh.." I groaned, keeping my head locked under the pillow. Alice giggled and easily removed the pillow from my grasp.

"Wake up Bella!" She said, continuing to jump on the bed.

"Alice! Please, I'm sick, and I'm really not in the mood to deal with you today."

"Too bad. you're stuck with me until 6:30 when everyone else comes back! MUHAHAHAHA!" she said, doing another bum drop on the bed.

"ALICE! LEMME SLEEP!" I said, pulling the other pillow over my head. Alice removed it again easily. She then threw off the comforter and sheets. When I still refused to get up, she went into the bathroom. Thank god. Some peace and quie--

"ALICE!" I screamed, chacing her downstairs into the kitchen. Stupid little evil vampire! She poured a bucked of ice cold water on me!

"Good, now that you're awake Bella, wanna go shopping?"

"Alice, wasn't it you yesterday who nearly ductaped me to a bed, claiming that I wasn't resting and I was sick? And now you want to drag me shopping? Chicken pox are _contagious _you know. Half the people at the mall could get them if I went!" I yelled, still chasing her around the granite island in the kitchen. She caught me from behind and dragged me up the stairs.

"You're right Bella. Off to bed with you!" She said, plopping me down on the bed.

"Alice, will you get me some water please?" I asked her, once I'd huddled myself in all of the covers.

"Sure. Be back in a jiffy." She flashed down the stairs and re-appeared in front of me four seconds later. "Here ya go." She said, handing me a large blue glass.

"Alice, did you spike this?"

"No! Would I _ever _do something like that?" She said, looking innocent.

"Yeah." I answered, taking a sip. I instantly felt drowzy.

"Dang it Alice! What did you put in here?" I asked her, throwing the glass to the wall across from me.

"Nothing." she said smiling.

"Alice you'd better tell me." I said, glaring at her.

"OK, maybe I put in some sleeping pills..."

"Alice! Why in the world would you do that?"

"You look so sleepy, and I thought that it might help."

"You are so going to--going to--goin--" I said as I set my head on the pillow and instantly fell asleep.

* * *

**YAY! So there it is! Yay! i've updated 4/6 stories today, I'm pretty proud of myself :D Ok, please review!  
**

**Heh. Sorry that it's so short, I know I know, please dont kill me :D hopefully there will be another chapter up tomorrow, so hang tight :D**

**I hope you liked Alice and Bella in this chapter! OK, thanks for reading!**

_**'Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.'**_

**pinkcrayon1101**


	8. Edward the Leopard

**DISCLAIMER: If I owned Twilight, I wouldn't be waiting anxiously for Breaking Dawn to come out! AHHH! 9 days (as of July 23rd)**

* * *

**Hello! I hope you like this next chapter. It's pretty short, so beware ;D**

* * *

I woke up from two high pitched screams coming from downstairs.

I rushed down the stairs, and saw Edward, Esme, Alice, Emmett and Carlisle standing in a circle in the living room. Rose was out working on the cars.

"What's wrong?" I asked, rushing to Edward's side.

"This." He said, turning around and pointing to his face. I gasped I couldn't help it.

There were several red spots covering his entire face.

"I didn't think it was possible for a vampire to get chicken pox." I said, laughing.

"Us either." Edward scowled.

"This is actually quite interesting." Carlisle said. Of course this would interest him, he's a doctor.

"HAH! Now little Eddy is a leopard! HAHAHAHA!" Emmett laughed, pointing a finger at Edward and using the other hand to clutch at his stomach.

"Emmett!" Esme scolded. "To bed Edward." she said, pointing up the stairs. "Bella dear, you look much better!" She cdontinued, giving me a hug.

I looked in the mirror behind me. Most of the red spots had vanished, I now only had two or three on my face. And I was hardly itchy anymore.

"Yay! You're healed Bella! Now we can go shopping!" Alice squealed.

"Not until Bella has a day or two in recovery. She hardly got any rest it's a surprise she's feeling better." Carlisle said with a stern look at Alice.

"Bella. You have ten seconds to get to bed." Alice threatened.

"Oh god." I said, racing up the stairs.

"Wait Bella!" Carlisle called, running after me, and grabbing my shoulder. "You cannot stay in the same room with Edward. There's too much risk. You can have Alice and Jasper's room for now. I'll make sure that there is a bed in there."

"Aw, do I have to Carlisle? I wanna stay with Edward."

"Sorry Bella."

"Wait!" Alice called, running up to us. "Bella's staying in our room?" Her eyes got wide with excitement.

"Please Carlisle, spare me!" I pleaded, getting down on my knees.

"Sorry Bella. Alice, why don't you go and get a bed from IKEA or something?"

"Can I bring Bella?" Alice asked, hopping up and down.

"Sure, as long as she doesn't exert herself that much."

"Bella will you come with me?" Alice asked, giving me eyes that put any puppy's to shame.

"Sure," I sighed. "But I refuse to carry any bags."

"That's fine!" Alice said. "You better get dressed before I dress you myself!"

"But all of my things are in my room!"

"Then you can borrow some of Esme's or Rose's... or..."

"Or what?"

I could hear Edward laugh from the other side of the wooden door.

"We could go shopping."

"No Alice." Carlisle said. "That might be a bit much for Bella to handle right now."

"Fine." Alice pouted, sticking out her bottom lip. "I'll go get you some clothes."

"But what if you get the chicken pox?" I asked her. That was the last thing we needed.

"Don't worry Bella!" She giggled, dancing off towards Edward's room.

"Watch her get them by tomorrow." I whispered to Carlisle.

"I wouldn't be suprised." He chuckled back, heading downstairs. Alice appeared in front of me seconds later, arms full of clothes.

"Alice, why'd you get all of that stuff? I just want sweats and a t-shirt!" I whined at her.

"Silly Bella," Alice said, handing me a pair of skinny jeans. "This is what you'll wear!" and then threw a red tank top and a white jacket on top of me.

"Alice no. I won't come to IKEA if you do this. I want sweats and a t-shirt!" I said, stomping my foot like a two year old.

"How about _jeans _and a long sleeved shirt?" She said, handing me my favorite jeans and a green long sleeved shirt.

"Fine." I said, heading off towards the bathroom to change. I was actually surprised she gave in so easily.

"Oh, and don't think I'll give in so easily next time Bella." She said from the other side of the door. Shoot.

Well, I had to admit, I really liked this top.

"You look good Bella." Alice complimented me when I came out of the bathroom.

"Thanks. Let's just get this IKEA torture over with." I said, stomping past her down the stairs.

"OK!" She giggled, grabing her keys from the key rack.

We went into the garage and stepped into her yellow Porsche. Well, This was sure to be interesting.

* * *

**Hehehe, OK hope you liked it :D I promise the next chapter will be long, and sorry about the whole IKEA thing! haha. My friend and I were talking on the phone... and IKEA came up! hahahaha.. OK, thanks for reading! PLEASE REVIEW!**


	9. Fairmont!

**DISCLAIMER: I _do not _own any of the super amazing twilight, new moon, or eclipse characters, scenes, settings, plots, etc. I do own a really cool bar of soap though. It has a rubber duckie in it... **:D

* * *

**Well, Finally I decided to update this one! Hope you like it, there is a twist!! :D Have fun reading and please review! :D :D... sorry it's kinda short!!  
**

* * *

Alice's Porsche sped down the street, probably scaring the other drivers.

"Hey Alice, I didn't think there was an IKEA in Forks."

She looked at me with a devious smile. "There isn't."

Oh god. Did that mean...

"We're going to SEATTLE!" She screamed, and I cowed into the corner out of fear. Going to Seattle with Alice was like committing suicide.

"We're only going to _IKEA _though right?"

"Sure." Alice said, rolling her eyes at me. This was going to be a very long day.

We sped down the highway and out of forks. The usual three hour and thirty four minute drive took us one and a half hours. This was due to Alice laughing like a maniac, and people swerving out of our lane so they wouldn't get hit by her.

Finally, I saw the space needle and knew we were in Seattle.

"Alice, there's the IKEA sign," I said, pointing to a blue sign. "And you're about to miss our turn." I said, as I pointed to the ramp turning off of the highway.

"Silly Bella. We arrive in Seattle and you want to go straight to IKEA? We have to check in."

"Check in where?" I asked nervously.

"Our hotel of course!"

I slapped my head in disbelief. This of course, made me dizzy.

"Oh Bella don't be such a drama-queen." She said, finally turning off at a ramp. In less than a minute, a large, hotel came into view. We followed the other cars into the 'motor coach entrance' and a man is a long black dress-like coat greeted us.

"Hello and welcome to the Faimont."

"Hi, Alice Cullen." Alice said, handing the man her keys. He bowed at her.

"Yes Miss Cullen, thank you for staying with us."

"Alice!" I whispered as we walked into the hotel. "If we're just staying here for one day, why'd you have to book the fanciest hotel in town? And the most expensive one?"

Alice turned around and laughed at me. "This is _far _from being the most expensive hotel in Seattle Bella. And what makes you think we're only going to be here for one day?"

Oh god. This could _not _turn out well.

"How long are we staying for Alice?" I asked, afraid.

"A week!" She replied squealing.

"NO!" I yelled in the middle of the reception area. Now dozens of heads were looking in my direction.

"Sorry." I mumbled, blushing, and hurried to the reception desk.

"Hello," Alice said to the receptionist. "Alice Cullen checking in."

"Oh!" She responded, looking flustered. "Yes, I'll get the manager." She said as she hurried into the back room.

"What do we need the manager for?" I asked Alice when the lady was gone.

"Lets just say that our room has some..._special _amenities."

"Ugh." I said as I pounded my head on the marble. I didn't even lift it back up when the manager came.

"Hello Miss Cullen, always a pleasure. I trust you're doing well?" A man, obviously the manager asked.

"Yes, I'm fine thank you, and yourself?" Alice replied, probably smiling.

"I'm jolly good. Uh, is your friend alright though?"

"Yeah, she'll be fine."

"Ugh." I said again, pounding my head on the marble. This could _not _be good for my headache, or recovery.

"Umm... OK, well here are your room keys and mini bar key, as well as your swimming V.I.P. passes. If anything is not perfect in your room please don't hesitate to call."

"Yes, thank you. And thank you again for getting us that suite on such a short notice."

"No problem Miss Cullen. Are you sure your friend is alright?" He was probably asking because at the mere mention of the word 'suite' I hit my head against the marble again.

"She'll be fine, she's just had a long day. Right Bella?" She said, elbowing me in the ribs.

"Suuuure." I said, lifting my head for the first time. The manager smiled at me.

"Well Miss Cullen, I assume you know where the elevators are by now." He said, turning his attention to Alice.

"Yes thank you." She said, shaking his hand and spinning around to face the lobby.

"Follow me Bella." She said, waiving her hand at me and heading towards two large gold doors.

"Ugh." I said again, but followed.

We got into the elevator, gave our room number to the attendant, and we were off.

"God, this is taking a long time Alice. How high is our room?"

"Hahaha. Silly Bella, we're in the Cascade suite."

"Great." I said, rolling my eyes and crossing my arms. Well, this trip would be anything but _fun_.

* * *

**Haha, hope you liked it! Just so you know, the Cascade suite is the best one, on the top floor, and it has everything. I'll post a link on my profile if you want to see the hotel they're staying at!**

**Hope you liked it, thanks for reading and PLEASE REVIEW (if you have time) :D**

**pinkcrayon1101**


	10. IKEA

**DISCLAIMER: I do not (or will I ever) own the twilight series' characters, plots, settings (etc.)**

* * *

**Hello super-awesome-cool people! I hope you like this chapter, it's quite long. One of the longer ones I've done for this story. So I hope you like it, and F.Y.I, most of these things have happened to either me, or one of my friends at IKEA. HAHAHA. good times. Ok, without further ado, please enjoy the chapter! (Oh and for those who dont know what IKEA is, its like a giant department store for furniture. And its reallllly busy there! lol)**

* * *

We finally got off the elevator, and into our room. It was one of three on this floor, but according to Alice, those were the presidential ones, and ours was nicer. We opened the big, oak wood door. It was easily twice the height of Alice, but she had vampire strength, so she opened it easily.

"Welcome to Chateau du Cullen." Alice said, waving her arm around the room like a model on a game show. My jaw must have dropped at least an inch.

The room was ... wow. The windows across from us were gold, covering the window just enough so sunlight still filled the room. There was no kitchen, but there was a dining room with a large birch table and eight chairs. There were four bedrooms.

"Alice," I said, watching her buzz around the room. "Why in the world do we need _four _bedrooms?"

"We don't."

"Then why'd you book this room?"

"Ugh, Bella, calm down. We _always _get this room."

"So? We're only two people. That's _two _bedrooms!" I yelled at her.

"No, Bella, well, whatever. We have all four now. Too late."

I stomped into my room. "That's ridiculous." I scowled at the comforter, then plopped onto the giant bed.

"Ohhhh Bella!" Alice called from somewhere close by.

"What?" I asked, getting off the bed.

"Let's go slowpoke!" She cried, tugging on my arm.

"Fine," I sighed, slipping on my shoes.

We were out into the lobby and into the car in four minutes. Alice slid into the driver's seat, and turned the car on. the engine roared to life, and she hit a tiny silver button. Music started blasting out of the speakers, _very_ loudly. I wondered how she could listen to such loud music with such sensitive ears. Oh well, I decided, realizing what song was playing. It was disturbia by Rhianna **(AN: sorry, I _always_ spell her name wrong! So if I did, dont be mad!!)**. Alice and I sung along all the way to IKEA.

Finally, we got to the store, and Alice slid the car into a spot close to the entrance. We went through the sliding doors, and into the world of IKEA. There were little kids playing in a day-care center, and tugging their parents all over, or crying, screaming and/or having a tantrum. Oh joy.

Alice and I made our way up the escalator, careful not to step on the little children. -some of whom were only a foot or so smaller than Alice.

We got to the top and saw that the place was packed. And I mean like _super _busy. There were people covering every inch of the walkway, moving so slow that they made a snail look like a cheetah. Oh, there one goes now...

"Alice watch out!" I said, trying to move her foot out of the way. She was just about to step on the poor little snail!

"What?" she asked, luckily moving her foot just in time. "Ew. A snail." She said, looking down at the little creature beneath her.

"Aw, I think it's kinda cute!" I said, picking it up.

Alice looked at me like I'd grown a second head.

"The fever must be coming back and messing with your head." She concluded, dragging me to the bed section. Just as we could see the beds over the sea of people, someone tugged on the hem of my shirt.

I swiveled around and saw a boy who looked about five, and a little girl looking around the age of three.

"Hi!" I said to them, smiling. The boy smiled back and then kicked me in the shin.

"What's the matter with you kid?!" I asked him, clutching my shin and causing the snail to fall out of my hands.

"You're a bully!" He screamed at me.

"What did I do?" I asked him, hopping up and down on one foot, still clutching my shin.

"You stowle Snailey!" The little girl whined, pointing a little finger at me.

"Oh, No I didn't, I was just making sure he didn't get stepped on," I tried to explain, but got cut off by the kid kicking me on my other shin.

"God, what's the matter with you?!" I screamed at him. I dropped to the floor, both of my legs in extreme amounts of pain.

The little girl came over and pulled on my ponytail.

"Say sowry!" She yelled, pulling harder.

"OK, OK, Sorry!" I screamed, clutching at my head. She let my hair drop, and looked pleased with herself. Then, she and the boy ran off into the crowd.

I stood up, and saw a little white head with black hair bobbing up and down above the crowd.

"Alice?" I asked in disbelief, walking up to where she was.

"Hi-Bella-I-Like-This-One!" She said in between bounces. My over-fifty-year-old sister was jumping on a bed. In a store. Grreeeeaaat.

"No Alice, we're here to get a bed, not a matress."

"What-will-you-sleep-on?" She asked, still bouncing.

"Im sure you have a mattress at home." I said, trying to pry her off of the bed.

"Nooope." She said, popping the 'p' and jumping off of the bed. "Let's go find one of the sales people." She said, grabbing my arm and pulling me into the crowd.

Finally, after twenty minutes, we found one that was free.

"Hi," Alice said, catching his attention. He was hiding under his tiny desk. "We want to get a mattress."

"Go downstairs, find the corresponding number and letter of the one you chose, and there. If you need help, ask someone downstairs." He said in one breath, then began rocking back and forth.

"Ok then." Alice said, dragging me back towards the mattress. She wrote down the information on a little scrap piece of paper, then towed me towards the beds.

"I like this one!" she squealed, pointing to a hot pink one, with flowers popping out of the sides.

"Alice, that's a little kid's bed. I don't think I could fit in there."

"Well, I probably could!" She said, smiling.

"You don't sleep," I reminded her. "What would you use it for?"

"Oh, well, I don't know, but it's always good to have an extra bed in the house."

"Right, in a normal house. But not in a house full of vampires." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Whatever," She said, writing down the number and letter. "I'm getting it."

I sighed and looked at the rest of the beds. There was a really nice wrought iron one, in white, The headboard swirled and weaved together. **(AN: Image on profile!!)**

"I like this one Alice!" I told her, grabbing the pencil and paper.

"Wait Bella," She said, taking back the paper and pencil.

"For what?" I asked, tapping my foot impatiently.

"How much is it?"

I was shocked. "I thought you liked buying expensive things Alice?" I asked her.

"Oh, I do. I just want to make sure it's not under 150." She explained, checking the little plastic tag.

"Hmm," She said after a moments inspection. "199. Not the best, but OK. If this is the one you like." Then she wrote the info down.

"We're done!" I said, throwing my fist into the air.

Alice sighed. "Against my better judgment, we can leave. These little rugrats are driving me insane!"

"They didn't kick _you_ in the _shins_." I mumbled, crossing my arms. Alice looked at me strangely, but I waved her off, so she shrugged.

We went down into the marketplace, and found the beds, then made our way to the checkout.

I stared at the line. "God Alice, this is going to take forever!"

"no it wont," She assured me. "I'm a V.I.P here too!"

"Oh," I replied, convinced. "I didn't think they had V.I.P's at IKEA." We made our way to the front of the line.

"That's because we _don't_." The cashier replied, pointing to the back of the line.

"Fine," Alice said, then stomped over to the male cashier on the other side of the yellow line.

"Excuse me," She said, batting her eyelashes, her voice as smooth -if not smoother- than honey. "I have to get to a family dinner, and I'll be late if I stand in that line. Can you do it for me _please_?"

The guy at the cash register was like putty in her hands. He quickly scanned our items, and got it arranged for delivery.

"Thanks, you've been a big help Bic!" She said, walking out the door and waving.

"It..It's _Boq_!" he called after her. "With a 'q'... and an ..'o'.. oh never mind." He sighed to himself and turned to the next customer.

Alice giggled as we got into the car.

"Now what?" I asked her, putting on my seat belt.

"Now," Alice said, hitting the Seattle road at top speed, "Now we go back to the hotel."

* * *

**Hi there! Hope you liked it, I wrote it throughout the day; in little chunks cuz I had to study for a french test... anyways, PLEASE REVIEW if u have time! I _swear_ I read them all, and try to respond to as many as I can. They seriously make me SO happy that I start acting like Alice... and anyways, so please just review if u've got the time :) thxx!**

**--pinkcrayon1101**


	11. Wait, what?

**Disclaimer: Nope. Sadly, All rights belong to Stephenie meyer, although the movie is coming out soon! yay!... not sure what that has to do with anything, but eh.**

* * *

**HI! So, im sorry I havent updated in like, forever, but you understand right? Thanks for staying with me! I hope you like this chapter! I couldn't sleep, but im kinda tired, so if this chapter sucks you know why. Ok thanks!!! Please review and HAPPY REMEMBRANCE DAYYYY!  
**

**Oh, and I got the cartoon stuff from the little kids I babysit. I hope it's all right. hehehe. Thanks Again!!!!!!!!  
**

--------------------------------9 DAYS TILL TWILIGHT! (well, 10 if you're not going to the midnight release)----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* * *

_**this chapter is dedicated to **__**Wanna be a fictional character **_**_because she was the only one who got my Wicked refrence with the whole 'Boq' thing =D yay you!_**

Alice rushed back to the hotel so fast im suprised we didn't get pulled over by a cop. The world outside the window all transformed into one grey blob completly diffrent from my green planet back home in forks. I sighed. Forks, where Edward is, without me. Aw, I miss him.

"We're Here!" Alice sang as she stopped the car with a jolt.

"Wow Alice." I said, rubbing my head. I'd hit it on the head rest really hard.

"Sorry bout that." she said as she danced out of the car and gave the keys to the valet.

I followed her into the lobby, up the elevator, down the hall, and into our room.

"Omigosh." She said, freezing in the middle of the room.

"What? did you just have a vision?!" I asked, running to her side.

"No," she said, turning around to face me. "But let's go clubbing!" She squealed.

"I dunno Alice, if Edward ever found out..."

"Bella," She interupted me, pulling me down to sit on the couch with her.

"He's your _boyfriend _not your _father_."

Well, that was enough to send shivers up my spine. My mind created a creepy image with a mixture of Charlie and Edward's faces.

"Thanks for _that _mental image." I said sarcastically, getting off the couch.

"I'm _serious_!" she said following me. "You need to have some fun! So come on, I have outfits packed! We'll have a great time!"

"Wait, what?" I stammered, opening the fridge. "You have outfits pre-packed? You knew we were going to go clubbing didn't you?"

"No," she said innocently, plopping back down on the couch. "But I was hoping!"

"Fine. Go get the stupid outfits, let's go."

"Yay! Thanks Bella, you won't regret it!"

"I wouldn't be so sure, I'm _already _regretting it." I replied as she danced toward the room.

"Pancakes!" I heard from Alice's room.

"What?!" I yelled, walking into her room.

"Shhh, im talking to the in-room dining people." She replied, rolling her eyes. "PANCAKES!" she screamed again into the phone.

"I swear half the people in this country don't even speak English!" She said hanging up the phone.

"Wait, why did you even want pancakes?" I asked her as she digged through her suitcase.

She froze. "I can't remember... but it seemed like a good idea at the time..." then she continued searching for something.

"Aha!" She yelled, pulling two scaps of fabric from the luggage.

"What? Are you going to make us outfits?" I asked, sitting on her bed.

She giggled.

"No silly, these _are _the outfits!" Then she threw me the blue scrap.

"No way Alice!" I said, tossing her back the garment.

"Yes." She repied throwing it back.

"No." I tossed it back.

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Come on Bella, please?" She pleaded, then looked at me with puppy-dog eyes.

"Fine," I sighed, grabbing the tiny piece of fabric from her. "But _I _get to do my own hair."

"Aw... Ok." She said, then we shook hands.

I ran to the bathroom and pulled the satin outfit on. Once it was all laced, buttoned, and clasped, I stared in the mirror. The bottom of the skirt was attached to the corset. The skirt only went about half-way between my waist and knee. I was sure if I was to bend down, I would be completly exposed.

"Alice," I yelled from the bathroom. "I'm _not _wearing this!"

"Yes you are!" She called back. "You _promised_!"

I sighed. She had me there. We shook hands and everything. Oh well, maybe it could be fun.

I convinced Alice to give me flats insead of the four-inch heels she was going to put me in. But that meant that she got to do my makeup and hair.

"Just a bit more blush and you're makeup will be complete!" she said, an hour later from when she started.

The _hair _went by quickly, she just put it up in a flimsy half-ponytail. The makeup, however, was more challenging.

"Alice," I whined. "I'm sure I have at least fourteen pounds of makeup caked on my face!"

"Calm down Bella, Im almost done!"

"Why god, do you punish me this way?" I asked shaking my head.

Then, I averted my gaze to Alice's bare arm.

"Um Alice," I started.

"Not now Bella! You can't move while I apply the blush!"

"No, Alice, it's important."

"Fine," she sighed. "What is it?"

"You have a leopard spot too."

* * *

**Yay! Ok, so I hope you liked it, and im sorry it was short. But I hope it was funny, even thought I know it wasn't. I'll try to update soon, so stay tuned! Thanks for staying with meeeee!**

**PLEASE REVIEW, MY SANITY DEPENDS ON IT.**

**... not that I had much to begin with...**

**Thanks again!**

**pinkcrayon1101 =D  
**


	12. Alice the mallard

**Disclaimer: Nope. Sadly, All rights belong to Stephenie meyer, although the movie is coming out soon! yay!... not sure what that has to do with anything, but eh.**

* * *

**Hello loyal readers! So, I hope you guys like this story! Now that volleyball is over, I have more freetime. (I swear, my coach is _INSANE_. Anyways, please enjoy this chapter, and it would TOTALLY make my day if every single one of you reviewer =)**

**Like really, I'd attempt to do a cartwheel. (even though I'd probably kill myself...) **

**Anyways, please enjoy this chapter!  
**

--------------------------------3 DAYS TILL TWILIGHT! (well, 4 if you're not going to the midnight release)----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* * *

Last Time: _"You have a leopard spot too."

* * *

_"WHAT?!" Alice asked, tugging at her arm. She twisted it around and around to try and see the tiny red dot.

"Try your elbow." I sugested.

"AH!" She screamed in horror once she saw it.

"Let's call Carlisle." I said sighing and standing up. Now, I would probably be trapped here with Alice.

"What? No! He's gonna make me stay in bed!" Alice whined at me, hopping up and down.

"Deal with it." I told her simply. "I'm calling Carlisle."

Alice stood there as I called him.

"Hi, Carlisle?" I asked into the phone. The only things I could hear was him yelling. He's probably still at the hospital.

"Carlisle?" I asked again, hearing someone yelling for a blanket.

"Carlisle?" I asked again, hoping this would be the last time.

After a few short seconds i got a response.

"Hello Bella. Sorry I had to leave the phone down for a second. Rosalie isn't happy about her face."

"Why?" I asked stupidly. Alice giggled uncontrolably on the rug.

"She got them too." he sighed.

"What?!" I asked, surprised. "What happened to 'Oh don't worry Bella, we can't get sick!'" I quoted him.

"Well, I have no idea what is going on, but I have to get Rose under control." He said, then I heard a loud smashing noise.

"So if you need to tell me something; tell me quickly please."

"Oh rite, sorry," I said, trying to remember what I was going to tell him. "Alice got the chicken pox too."

"What?!" Carlisle asked, yelling into the phone. I heard the sound of glass breaking.

"I'll send Emmett and Esme up in a car to come and get you two in and hour. Stay in two seperate rooms!" He yelled into the phone before it gave a dial tone.

Great.

"So, what did he say?" Alice asked, scratching her arm.

I grabed her arm to stop her. "Emmett and Esme are coming to pick us up in an hour." I said, walking to my room.

"What? No! I want to stay in Seattle!" She whined yet again, scratching her arm.

"Alice!" I scolded her. "Stop scratching." I pulled the old pair of oven mitts from my bag. "Here, put these on."

Alice whined and complained, but eventually I... _pursuaded _her into wearing them. Ah, revenge was sweet.

"Just stay in your room, and pack up." I told her, packing up my toiletries.

"I DONT WANT TO!" She screamed from her room.

"DO IT ANYWAY!" I yelled back to her. "OR YOU'LL HAVE UGLY SCARS ALL OVER YOUR SKIN, SO DEAL WITH IT!"

"RAINBOW SPARKLE PONY!" She shouted back.

"YEAH WELL, wait what?" I asked, stopping what I was doing.

"PURPLE BELUGA!" She screeched again.

"Alice, what are you talking about?" I asked her, walking to the door of her room.

"PURPLE RAINBOW SPARKLE PONY BELUGA BABY!" She yelled, running from her room.

"God Alice," I said watching her as she jumped on the couch. "What's wrong with you?!"

"?ilikepotatoes..."

"Wait, what? You're a Vampire, you can't eat _potatoes_." She was making no sense.

I put my hand lightly on her forehead. It was burning hot.

"God Alice!" I said, pushing her back into the room. "Stay in bed until Emmett and Esme come."

I pushed her into the bed lightly and put a cold rag on her head.

She was twitching when I came back to get her suitcase.

"Umm.... Alice, what are you doing?" I asked her, standing in the doorway.

"Being a duck." She replied simply. "Well actually a mallard."

I nodded.

"Wait, aren't mallards _boy _ducks?" I asked her.

"NO! I JUST DECLARED THEM GIRL DUCKS! BOYS MUST DIE MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" She screamed. Then fell silent again.

Oh god, it was worse than Mike Newton on a sugar high. Ew, scary images.

I shook my head to get rid of the images of Mike in my head. Scary.

Alice just lay on the bed in scilence.

"So how bout we..." I got cut off by Alice.

"BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP."

"Umm, Ok then. Are you..."

"DING DONG! DING DONG!"

"OK, I'll just leave you..."

"BING A BING A BOURDON."

"Right." I said, closing the door to her room. God, vampires are insane.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, Esme and Emmett showed up.

* * *

**Yay! Ok, so I hope you liked it, and im sorry it was short. But I hope it was funny, even thought I know it wasn't. I'll try to update soon, so stay tuned! Thanks for staying with meeeee!**

**PLEASE REVIEW, MY SANITY DEPENDS ON IT.**

**... not that I had much to begin with...**

**Thanks again!**

**pinkcrayon1101 =D  
**


	13. Ohmigod I hate this

**Disclaimer: Nope, I'm Lilly, not Stephenie Meyer, so I don't own Twilight.. Or new Moon... Or Eclipse... Or... Edward. BOOH HOO.

* * *

**

_Im too tired to put the "last time..." so, go check the last chapter if you forgot. lol hahahahhaa. =D_

**

* * *

**"Thank god you guys are here!" I said as I ran towards the door. "Alice has gone insane."

Emmett laughed. "It wasn't like she was normal _before_." He said, sitting on the couch.

"Yea, well, at least she was making sense," Then I thought about what I'd just said. "Most of the time." I added on at the end.

Esme smiled.

"Um, Bella, dear. You didn't have anything important to do back home did you?"

"Umm... nope." I replied, sitting beside Emmett.

"Oh, good because we might need to stay here a little longer."

"WHAT?!" I screached, getting up from the couch.

"Well, you see, on the way here... Emmett crashed the car."

I swivled my head and glared at Emmett.

"What. Did. You. Do?" I asked him through my teeth. No way was I going to spend more time with Alice the psycho.

"Uh.. I just uh..." Emmett studdered.

"He was singing to the music and crashed into a police car." Esme sighed.

Well, that would have been interesting...

"Aw, it wasnt my fault! The stupid police man was veering into my lane!"

"No he wasn't Emmett! He was going the _opposite direction_."

I could hear Alice laugh from inside the bedroom. Then she started screaming.

"Oh!" Esme said, running into Alice's room "Alice dear, whats wrong?"

Emmett and I followed Esme into Alice's room.

"WOOOOOOOOO! MALLARD! RAINBOW! SPARKLES! TURNIP!"

"That's exactly what she was saying before," I said to Esme. "Except for the turnip part, that's just weird."

Esme nodded and looked back at Alice.

"Alice, honey, do you need anything?"

"She's a _vampire_." I reminded Esme.

Emmett started laughing.

"I know Bella, but maybe I can do something to help?"

"I WANT AN ICECREAM CONE!" Alice screamed from the bed. "AND I WANT A DONKEY. AND I WANT SOME CHALK AND THE WIZARD OF OZ!"

"Oh, um, I'm sorry Alice.. but I can't get you any of those things."

"RAWR! ME A LAUGHING DINOSAUR!" Alice screamed again, then made creepy dinosaur movements with her hands.

Emmett laughed so hard that he fell to the floor.

Alice giggled.

"AND HE'S A LAUGHING _DORK_ASAUR!" She yelled, then began singing opera music.

"Oh god. This is even worse than yesterday!" I complained, plopping down on the bed in the other room.

"Aw, come on Bella, she's not _that _bad." Emmett said, coming into my room and bouncing onto my bed.

"You're a vampire. You don't need sleep," I explained. "I _do._ and when she's going on about clothes and various marine animals all night it's hard to get to sleep!"

"Wow. Um, ok. Are you OK bells? Like, you're not going insane are you?"

"No Emmett." I hissed lying down. "No I'm not going insane. I'm just tired."

"Oh Ok. Hey, you wanna play snakes and ladders!? I've got it in the car."

"I thought the car was crashed?" I asked him, sitting up again.

"Yup, everything but this board game!" he replied happily.

I sighed. "Where is the car?"

"The police took it!" He replied happily.

"Think Emmett." I sighed, lying back down.

"Aw, damn!" He yelled.

"Emmett! Watch the language please!" Esme's voice came drifting from the other room.

"Whatever." he mumbled.

"I can hear you!" Esme said.

"I WANNA EAT A FLIPPING GOOSEBERRY!" Alice yelled.

"Oh god. She's at it again! Just wait until she starts going on about diffrent flavours of bubble gum or some kind of animal." I sighed, rolling over.

"THERE ARE LOTS OF BUBBLEGUMERS! THEY ARE YUMMY. I LIKE BUBBLEGUMMER NUMBER ONE. TROPICAL."

"YOU CAN'T EAT GUM YOU MORON!" I yelled at her.

"THEN THERE'S NUMBER FOUR-HUNDRED and TWENTY TWO," she said, completly ignoring me. "ICE COOLIO VAMPERIFIC MINT TURQUOISE!"

"THAT'S NOT EVEN A REAL GUM FLAVOUR!" I yelled at her again

"GO EAT A MALLARD!" she yelled back.

I sighed, and screamed into my pillow.

"Nope. You're definetly going insane." Emmett said, then laughed like the idiot he is.

I threw one of the fluffy pillows at him.

"Go play in trafiic." I hissed at him

"SWEET! That's a new one! I've got to write it down somewhere...."

As Emmett searched for a piece of paper and a pen, I went into the en-suite.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Staring back at me was a girl with hair all over the place, red eyes, red nose, and a _very _angry expression on her face. Great.

There was a knock on the door.

"ROOM SERVICE!" Alice yelled, then giggled.

Esme went to answer the door. I could barely hear the conversation from the bathroom.

"Hello. I'm sorry to say ma'am, but we've gotten several noise complaints, and our policy _clearly _states that if you get five or more complaints, you'll be evicted."

I walked out of the bathroom and into the front room.

"Oh, well, I'm sorry but my daughter is sick."

"I'm sorry as well, but you have until 5:00 PM to be checked out. Have a nice stay!"

"Wait a second here mister hotel manager guy," Esme said, grabbing the front of his shirt. "I _will_ stay in this room and you _will _see to it that any complaints will be disregarded." Then she handed him a hundred dollar bill. "Understand?"

"uh... yes, yes ma'am. Thank you, and please enjoy the rest of your stay!" He said, then left.

"Hi bella dear, i didn't see you there. Would you like anything?"

Talk about bi-polar issues...

"No, Im good thanks Esme!"

I heard the _'Gossip Girl' _theme song playing. That meant one thing.

Rose was calling Alice.

"PREDIDDLE!" Alice screeched.

I ran to answer the phone.

"Hello? Alice?" It was Jasper's voice.

"Uh, It's Bella. Alice is busy..."

That was the best way to discribe it. She was playing dentist with a toothbrush and a bar of soap...

"Oh. Um, well, I'm the only one here who isn't infected..."

"WHAT?"

"Yea, Carlisle broke down, like, five minutes ago, and then I saw a spot on his forehead. I'm freaking out."

"Well, just, just stay out of the house."

"And leave these guys home alone?! No way. They've gone insane."

I heard Rose yelling int eh background. "JASPER! GIMME MY HAIRBRUSH OR YOU'RE DEAD!"

"Just a second Bella." Jasper said into the phone.

"I DONT HAVE YOUR HAIRBRUSH ROSE! YOU THREW IT AT ME A MINUTE AGO!" he yelled at Rose.

God. This family was going insane.

"AH! Ow, Edward! That's my ankle!" He yelped. "Sorry Bella, I got to go."

I hung up the phone and plopped down on the bed. Damn the soul who gave me chicken pocks!

* * *

**hahaha. Ok, so this chap. was random, but I hope you like it n e ways! HAVE AN AWESOME NEW YEARS! I promise there will be more updates in more stories really soon, I've been swamped! BYE! =)**

**lilly **

**P.S. IM AWARE that there are a LOTTTT of spelling/grammar mistakes. It's like, three in the morning. deal with it. lol :D THANKS FOR READING  
**


	14. Like, OMG, its chapter 14!

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything to do with the Twilight series!**

**WARNING: extreme OOC!!!!!!! :) (but than again, if you've gotten this far into the story, [or ANY of my stories..] you should know that already.)  
**

* * *

I walked out of the bedroom and heard Emmett giggling. Oh god.

"Oooh Bella!" He said, then dashed across the room scurried up the curtain, onto the curtain rod.

"WOAH. Emmett! What are you doing?!" I asked him, looking up.

"Uh...."

"EMMETT. Like, totally, omg?!"

I looked over at Esme. "What did you say?"

She looked back at me and sighed. "Geeez. I said, like, I totally can't like, believe that Emmett is like, up there."

I stared at Esme in shock. Was I the only sane one left? Of course, with Emmett is was hard to tell...

I looked back up and emmett and he started yelling out like George of the Jungle.

"This cannot end well." I sighed, sitting on the couch while Emmett jumped around the room.

"EMMY! LIKE TOTALLY STOPPIT!" Esme shouted, stomping her foot.

"Ilikespaghetti." Alice said, popping her head through the door.

"Alice," I said, holding my head in my hands. "For the last time. You are a _VAMPIRE. _You can't eat spaghetti."

Alice stood in the doorway for a second, then slammed the door and started crying.

Emmett landed on the kitchen table and took oranges from the bowl.

"AHAHAHA." he said, throwing them around the room.

"Emmett!" Esme said, sheilding herself with her hands. "You're totally going to like, mess up my beautiful hair!"

I lay back on the couch. What should I do now? Call Jasper and see if he'd gone crazy yet? Or deal with it? Then again, I could always leave and come back. Whats the worst that they could do?

Suddenly my mind created a mental image of the entire hotel up in flames with Emmett doing tribal dances around it. Ugh.

I grabbed Alice's phone off the side table and dialed the home number.

Bring

Bring

Bring

Bring

"----hello?" A velvet voice answered

"Edward?" I asked, surprised.

"Yes, love, are you alright?"

"I am... and I wish I could say the same for Emmett, Esme, and Alice."

He sighed into the phone. "I'm the only sane one here aswell."

Esme came up behind me. "OOooOOOoooOOOhie! Is that your BOYFRIEND?!" She asked, giggling.

"Um.. who was that?" Edward asked as I yelled at Esme.

"You're mother." I said, rolling my eyes.

Esme screamed. "Like, what?! who's the dad?!"

Emmett came and snached the phone from me and dropped it in the sink.

"Emmett," I said, walking towards him. "If you turn that tap on, there will be hell to pay."

Emmett stared at me, then giggled and turned the water on.

"UGH!" I yelled, running towards the phone. "Edward? Edward?" I asked, but the phone's screen was black.

"Emmett." I said, turning towards him.

As I was about to strangle him, Alice popped in front of me. "DING DONG."

"Wha-what?" I asked, confused.

"You're pizza's here." Alice said happily.

Oh god.

"Alice, no. Just step aside."

"Like, Omg, pizza? No way! Thanks Bellsies, you're the bestest." She said, hugging me. "Like... where is it?"

"It's not here. It doesn't exist"

"NO WAY. Oh noes! Pizza _has _to exist. It's like, the staple food group for the western canadians!" **(an: no offence to western canada) **

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, well the Candians took it all so we dont get any."

"Oh my gawd. No ways!"

"Let's plot REVENGE." Emmett said, balancing a bar of soap on his head.

"No one will be plotting revenge on ANYONE." I said, grabbing the soap."Go sit down and watch TV or go to your room."

"Like, that totally sucks. What's like, the fun in that?" Esme asked, crossing her arms.

"MTV Is channel 92." I told her, getting a glass of water.

"OOH!" Esme said, grabbing the changer.

"no way. We're watching TLC." Emmett said, grabing it back

"NO!" Alice screeched. "Disney Channel!"

I slapped my head. Since when was TV such a difficult thing.

"There are _five _TV's in this hotel room. I'm sure you can all watch whatever you want."

"Good point Bellsies!" Esme said, running to the unoccupied room and slaming the door.

"Sweet." Emmett said, taking over this TV.

Alice skipped into her room and left the door open. I went to go sit down with Emmett.

"Anything good?" I asked, sipping my water.

"No," He said, flipping through the channels. "Hey!" he said, eyes lighing up. "I wanna bungee jump out the window kay?"

I thought about it for a sec. It wasn't going to hurt him was it? Sure, people might wonder how he survived... but we would deal with that right?

"Sure, go ahead. But it will be more jump than bungee."

He looked at me like I was insane and jumped out the window.

* * *

**hahaha, ok, so sorry i didnt update for a while. No, i didnt fall off the edge of the earth. Its a stupid little thing called FRENCH CLASS. and well, facebook might have played a role in it.... but ANYWAYS, hope you liked it, please review :) It makes my day :D **

**LOTS OF LOVE**

**pinkcrayon1101**


	15. when vampires jump out windows

**i have no idea what im going to write about. although, all of my chapters/stories are "improv"... i just start with a random idea. Like cats for example... okay, im WAYYYY off topic. Anyways, i hope you like this chapter..... cause its gonna be kinda hard to write. and im sick. soooo im lying in bed with two boxes of tissues and cough syrup. I hope you're happy.

* * *

**

**BPOV**

I looked towards the window that Emmett had just jumped out of. I heard people screaming, then sirens, and lots of traffic. This could _not _be good. Suddenly, Esme's phone started to ring.

"Like, hello? Is this Kimmy? Hahaha, Kimmy your nicname isnt _Edward_! You silly kid! hahahahahahahahhaa. Oh, you wanna talk to Bellie? Okies." Esme tossed the phone to me, then sat on the couch.

"Bellie and Eddie sittin' in a trreeeeeeeee..... K-I-S-S-I-N..."

"Shut it or ill shut it for you." I snapped at her.

Her mouth closed and she grabbed one of the gossip magazines off the coffee table.

"Hello?"

"Hi, love. Care to explain why my brother is on the news?"

"uhm....." I said, looking out the open window. "He wanted to..._bungee jump_."

Edward laughed. "I'd hardly classify jumping out of a window with no bungee cords or net 'bungee jumping'. But nice try."

"No, im being serious. He wanted to jump out the widow, so I said okay."

"Love, if we let Emmett do everything he wanted to do; we'd have been extinct a _long_ time ago."

"Good point," I said into the phone, giggling. "So what do we do now?"

"Well, usually Calisle would deal with it," There was a pause. "But he's a little... er... _disposed _at the moment."

"_Great_. So we're gonna have to deal with it?"

"I'm afraid so. I'll ask Tanya to come watch the family, then Ill drive down there and meet up with you."

"Okay. You know what hotel?"

"Yes, its on the news love."

"Right, Ok. well, love you."

"You too." He said before hanging up.

"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha." Alice laughed, coming out of her room.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked her, tossing the phone back to Esme.

"buffalo wings MMM MM GOOD!"

"I think you're, like, mixing it up Ali," Esme said from the couch. "Im pretty sure the MMM thing is for like, soup or something."

"CROCODILES!" Alice yelled, then starting screaming and jumped onto the couch beside Esme.

"Ewwwwwwww. She's looking at me creepishly!" Esme whined, scooting as far away from Alice as she could.

"Woof. Me a STINGRAY!"

"What?" I asked her, looking in the fridge and pulling out twizzlers. "Stingrays are quiet... right? You're pretty loud."

Alice shut up and made quiet hissing noises.

"There ya go." I said, taking a bite of the candy.

Alice stood up on the arm of the couch and did ballet poses.

"Stingrays cant do ballet." I told her, changing the channel.

Alice started screaming, causing Esme to scream.

"When was Edward gonna get here?!"

**EPOV**

I finally got to the hotel after an hour drive. The guy at the reception desk refused to give me the room key, or an elevator key, so i had to wait for him to bring out a female supervisor. I liked getting what i wanted all the time.

I got up to floor 8 and I could already hear screaming. That couldn't be good....

**BPOV**

There was a knock on the door but i just ignored it. Probably just the maids or something.

"Love?" Edward called, knocking again. "Im here, I could hear you from the eight floor. Is everything alright?"

I unlocked the door and let him in.

"Ugh! Im SO glad you're okay! And you're HERE!" I hugged him and refused to let go. That's when Esme saw him.

"OMG. HE IS LIKE, SO TOTALLY UBER HOT!!!! AHAHAHAHAHA! EYE CANDY MUUUCH?!" Then started giggling and taking pictures of Edward with her camera phone.

"Right..." Edward said, turning back to me. "So, I already fixed the Emmett Problem."

"Wow," I responded, grabbing another twizzler from the bad. "You're efficient."

He chuckled. "That I am. I just told everyone that it was special effects."

"Smart."

"I thought so. He should be up soon... He said he just wanted to stop and get you a 'sorry' gift."

"Aw, how sweet! I hope its more twizzlers!" I said, then laughed evily. Oh god.

"Uhm..."Edward said, grabbing me a glass of water."How many of those things have you had?"

"Just..." I looked around the room. There were eight bags of twizlers on the floor. "Eight full bags?" I said, taking a bite of the newest candy.

"Bella, you and sugar just dont mix. Its worse than when we tried to get Alice to drink energy drinks."

We sat in silence. Mostly becuase he was waiting for me to say something and I was confused.

"Um, but she's a _vampire_."

"Carlisle was testing to see if energy drinks would work on vampires, and turns out they do. So Emmett decided to give Alice some.... it wasnt good."

"Doesnt sound good." I said laughing.

All of the sudden Emmett burst into the room. "TAH DAH!"

"EMMETT!" I screamed at him. How could he bring.... _that _in here?!

* * *

**oooooh cliffie :) I LOVE CLIFFIES :D woo hoo. Please review. cause i lost my phone, im sick, and i made a fool of myself in English class by tripping and falling.... dont ask. OKie dokie. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and happy spring break :D**

**pinkcrayon1101  
**


	16. polymoravicane

**Disclaimer: if it's not already obvious, I dont own anything to do with the twilight series. **

**Hey guys!!! Haha, sorry this took so long, my life is crazy. (and i know that you're all going 'whatever thats a lame excuse' but oh well.) So, basically, I had a really ( REALLY ) bad week, so I figured that writing a story like this would cheer me up. And hey, its almost Friday! woo hoo! (unless you live in China [or some other country where the days are backwards], then i suppose its almost saturday. woo!) So... now that im done rambling, lemme start the story :) OH, and WARNING: this has an extensive use of he*l in it cause of Rose.... yea. So, if that offends you, sorry. :)  


* * *

**

"Nice to see you too." Rose hissed at me.

"C'mon rosie be niceicles!" Esme sang from the couch.

"Go die." Rose murmured, crossing her arms. "Why the hell am I here?"

"Because you were shopping and I came and got you!" Emmett yelled, running around the living room in giant circles.

"Whatever."

"Wow," I whispered to Edward. "She's more pissed than ever."

"Maybe it's the chicken-pox talking."

"I can here you." Rose snapped, plopping down on the couch next to Esme.

"OHMIGOSH." Esme said, dropping her jaw. "I _love _your top! It's like, Ed Hardy right?"

"Yea... hey, Bella, why is she acting like Jessica?"

"She's got the same thing as you."

"Then why is she crazy?"

"You are too... its just all the time so no one noticed any difference." Edward murmured, causing me to giggle.

"Again, Im a vampire!" She snapped, flicking the TV to the fashion network.

"bah bah black sheep..." Alice sang, dancing around the room.

"What the hell? Move out of the way Alice!"

"Ohmigod!" Esme said, throwing her phone onto the table. "Wanna hear the best joke EVER?"

"Is it a blond joke?" I asked, on the verge of laughing. Rose _hated _blond jokes. Even more than she hated me.

"Uh, I, like, don't know." Esme said, biting her lip and twirling her hair. "So you, like, wanna hear it?"

"Yes, go ahead." Edward said, attempting to take the twizlers away from me.

"Grrrrr." I growled, ripping them from his hands, then turning back to Esme.

"So, like, there's 100 blonds on a cliff, and like, one brunette. And on of them has to like, fall off and die. So the brunette goes, 'okay, ill, like, do it.' and all the blonds go 'yay!'" She demonstrated by clapping her hands like paula from _American Idol_.

"I don't get it." Emmett and Alice said together.

I ate another twizler, then swallowed before i finally got it. "Hahahahaha... i get it. They all clapped, so they all fell off."

"Yay!" Esme said, clapping again. "Someone got it!"

"What a stupid joke." Rose said, going towards the door.

Before she could get there, a knock came from the outside hallway.

"Hello, this is hotel management. I'm afraid i must inform you that you are under quarantine. You may not leave the room under any circumstance, and no one may come in. Please close all windows connecting outside, and take the medication we provide." As he spoke, ten little pill bottles slipped in under the door frame.

"How the hell did he do that?" Rose asked, picking one of the bottles up.

"I dunno..." I knelt to the ground and picked the rest up.

"Will they even work on us?" Edward asked, taking them from my hands and placing them on the counter

"Well, they'll work on me." I said, popping two of the tiny white pills into my mouth. As I prepared to swallow them, I realized that nothing had hit my tongue.

"This could be _heroine_!" Edward started yelling at me.

"Oh, calm the hell down Edward," Rose said, reading the label. "Its poly-moravicane."

"Oh... then take it, but not too much. It will knock you out." He said, handing me back the pills along with a glass of water.

I swallowed the pills then looked around. Mmmmm all the colours were blurring together into a pretty white-beige mixture.

"Pretty." I sighed, swaying side to side.

"Love, are you okay?" Edward asked, placing his hands on the small of my back.

"Immmm fiiiiiiine." I said, still looking through my blurred vision.

I felt the soft fabric of a couch under me.

"OINK!" Alice yelled, causing Edward to cuss under his breath.

"Ohhhhhhh Edddddie, thatss a notttt niccccce wooooord." I said, slapping his chest lightly.

"Uhm, what the hell happened to her?" Rose asked, sitting on the arm of the couch.

"RABID SQUIRRELS ATE HER!" Emmett screeched, causing Alice to scream, making Edward cuss again. Finally, Rose just yelled, "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!"

I hiccuped.

"mmmmmmmm chocolate coveredddddd twiiiizlers...." I said, grabbing a twizler off the table and looking for the chocolate. "Where's the chocolate at foo?" I asked Edward, then started to giggle.

"Damn it Bella..." Edward said, putting a cold cloth on my head. "You're burning up."

"Ittts the FLLLLU Edddie."

"Well, I'm gonna phone Carlisle. Rose will help you if you need anything."

"Okie dokie artichokie panokie." I said, then hiccuped again and giggled.

"When HELL FREEZES OVER I WILL!" Rose screamed.

there was an awkward silence, so I grabbed another twizler off the table and handed it to her.

"twizler?"

* * *

**hahaha, ok, so really random, short, strange chappie. But on the up side, no cliff hanger.... :) Happy _________ (insert holiday of choice) yay! -is there even a holiday coming up? Oh well. We'll call it FF appriciation day! hoorah goes the candlestick man!!!! Thanks for reading guys, please please please please review! :D**

**LOOOOVE, pinkcrayon1101  
**


End file.
